43. “I Don’t Need It, But I Want It”

Feb 10

You might start feeling selfish or even guilty for wanting something you don’t need. But what if I told you that it was okay to want it? Here is your permission slip signed to bring more pleasure into your life.

Steps to Creating More Passion in Your Life

Allow yourself to want things.
Figure out what you want and what you need. Then make room for them both.
Don’t fall into the trap of comparison.

Listen to Episode 43 Here

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The Chief Complaint: “I Don’t Need It, But I Want It”

There is such a feeling of guilt associated with wanting something we think we don’t need. What if you actually start allowing yourself to want something? Human beings should experience pleasure in life - and often!

It’s Okay to Want

There is definitely a difference between the feelings of need and want. Need comes from that basic necessity; something like food, shelter, companionship. So when you have all your base needs met, I get how it can feel guilty to want something on top of it.

What I want you to understand is that it’s okay to want something. It’s okay to experience pleasure. Pleasure feels so slow and so good, it’s a feeling we want to prolong and experience often. It’s important for us to experience pleasure as often as we can.

When you’ve started allowing yourself to feel pleasure regularly, it’s easier to figure out what you actually want. Asking yourself what you want, truly and at your core, is so healthy and we can all stand to allow ourselves to want a little bit more.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I’m saying it’s important to figure out what YOU want because that all too real fear of missing out does come into play here. If someone you know allows themselves to want something pleasurable, it’s so easy to think that might be something we want, too.

This comparison can impact that connection with yourself to figuring out what it is you actually want. And I don’t just mean what you want off the top of your head… Put all your different hats on and figure out what you want the most in each of those aspects of your life.

Finally, it’s so important for you to give yourself space to figure out both what you want and what you need. Then make room for both of these independent thoughts and feelings in your life.

Homework for Women Physicians

How can you create pleasure for yourself every day? What have you done today simply because you wanted to? Let me know in the comments below!

In This Episode

How to know whether you need or want something [3:30]
Why it’s important for us to allow ourselves to feel pleasure [6:00]
How to get to the place where you can ask yourself what you want [14:00]
How the Fear of Missing Out relates to want and pleasure [18:00]
Why you need to make room for both the needs and the wants [23:45]
How comparison can impact what you actually want [25:30]

Quotes

“For us to proceed, what we all have to agree on is that it’s okay to want things and that it’s okay to also need things.” [12:26]

“It is okay to want things. Even if you’re having a tough time drawing that line between need and want, who cares, it’s fine. There doesn’t need to be a very solid line because those things might change. The important thing is to check in with yourself to see where you are in your life.” [23:19]

“Right now, what do you want? I think the way you can do that is really breaking down all the hats you wear, picking one hat to focus on, and really going through the idea and the process of ‘what do I want’ versus ‘what do I need.’” [26:01]