41. “I’m Afraid Of Missing Out”

Jan 27

The fear of missing out is absolutely dreadful. Feeling like you’re missing out on what other people are up to is frustrating and distracting. Let’s talk about turning that fear into fun and showing up for yourself.

When Fear of Missing Out Comes:

Recognize It
Decide if you want to stay there or move to self-compassion
Doing thought work strategies
Find joy, fun, and belief in what you’re doing

Listen to Episode 41 Here

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The Chief Complaint: “I’m Afraid of Missing Out”

The fear of missing out (affectionately also known as FOMO) is such a real feeling. It’s, of course, related to all-or-none thinking and definitely comes with a hefty dose of thought distortion. I want you to know these feelings are normal and that almost everyone has them, but you can also train yourself not to feel them quite as often.

What Even IS FOMO?

Did you know that having those fear of missing out feelings actually means you’re in the mood to see people? When you understand the root of that severe FOMO, it’s easier to figure out how to help yourself.

You can experience FOMO in so many situations: social events, the latest TV show, and even when it comes to setting goals. It’s so easy to think you know what you want to do, then see someone else’s goal and think that, actually, that’s what you want to do.

My first piece of advice for this is to figure out what it is you actually want to do. When you get to the heart of your goals, desires, and ultimate reason for missing whatever it is you’re missing, it’s so much easier to let yourself be happy with your situation.

Turning Fear to Fun

It’s natural to be curious, especially when you see someone else doing something you might want to do. There’s definitely a balance here of how much curiosity you should explore. I talk about my preferred route to curiosity and why it’s the one I’d recommend you adopt, too.

When you take the time to sit with yourself, your ideals, and actually plot out what YOU want out of life, you’ll realize that many of these fears of missing out on what other people do are baseless. That’s not to say that you don’t acutely feel the loss, but you start to see what really matters in your life.

The best method I’ve found to truly get over missing out is to create fun out of your situation instead of fear. Recognize that yes, you have these feelings, but you’re doing something that’s more aligned with what you truly want. That you’re doing something that matters to you and that you have fun and belief in!

Homework for Women Physicians

Where do you have the biggest feelings of FOMO? Let me know in the comments below!

In This Episode

What the fear of missing out actually indicates [2:30]
Why you need to figure out what you want and how to make it happen [10:00]
What the right approach to curiosity is [11:30]
Why you should do life the exact way YOU want to do life [15:30]
How you can have fun while missing out [19:00]

Quotes

“The idea is that trusting yourself and finding content within yourself, so being happy with yourself, and knowing that it doesn’t take a circumstance to make you okay with yourself. We crave social connection and it’s a beautiful thing. But at the end of the day, if you are happy with yourself, the fear of missing out is not going to be as powerful.” [6:24]

“We have to start having thoughts that there are many different ways to do the same thing. Other goals are allowed.” [10:27]

“When we can explore different things and ultimately come to the conclusion on our own, ultimately decide is this going to work me? That’s when we are no longer going to have the fear of missing out.” [12:42]