010: "I Suffer From Constant All-Or-None Thinking..."

Jun 24

If you, like me, struggle with that all-or-nothing thinking, you are absolutely not alone. In this episode, I’m introducing you to The Gray Zone, the space that exists alongside the all-or-nothing zones.

Listen to Episode 10 Here

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The Chief Complaint: I Suffer from Constant All-or-None Thinking

This space of all-or-none thinking is where we’re conditioned to live. You know the thinking I mean, where you either do something perfectly or you don’t do it at all. Whether that’s a diet, new exercise routine, even being a pet owner.

I challenge you to start unlearning these old beliefs and habits. It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. And when we exist in these extreme thought distortions, we tend to end up disappointed in ourselves and our lives when we don’t stick to our original plan.

The Gray Zone is that space that exists outside of your all-or-nothing thinking. It feels uncomfortable for us because, especially as perfectionists, we’re not used to letting ourselves exist in a space that isn’t all the way done. The Gray Zone is where we allow ourselves to be, even and especially when we don’t hit that “all” state of being.

This is why it’s important to have a Plan B. Your Plan B exists in The Gray Zone. Your Plan B is making the best out of every moment and not beating yourself up if Plan A didn’t go as you thought it would.

Your Plan B is going for a ten-minute walk when you didn’t make your 6 am workout. Or your Plan B is chasing after the kids when you didn’t fit your strength training in. Your Plan B is allowing yourself to eat one brownie that wasn’t in your Plan A and not feeling guilty about it, even when your initial instinct is to eat the rest of the tray.

Your Plan B is taking stock of your journey and enjoying the ride more than the end goal. This is what The Gray Zone is. Your all-or-none thinking is not serving you. Not now and definitely not longterm. It’s time to get comfortable with The Gray Zone.

Homework

For just one minute, even if it’s just for today, I want you to think about a time or a situation in your life where you tend to go extreme. I want you to ask yourself what it would feel like if you just pull back a bit. Let me know in the comments below how that was for you!

In This Episode

What happens when you unlearn old beliefs of all-or-none thinking
How simple but extreme thought distortions can lead to huge disappointment in our lives
Why the gray zone feels uncomfortable
What exists in the gray zone
What happens when you focus on doing the best in every moment
Why you should always have a Plan B
Why the journey is more important than the end-goal
Why all-or-none thinking is truly not serving you

Quotes

“When we are at the end of nothing, that actually can feel more comfortable than being in the gray zone because the nothing zone is one we have practiced many times.” (7:50)

“The ten-minute walk is going to be beneficial to your health, no doubt, but it’s going to be even more beneficial to your mind because we are retraining your mind to say, hey listen, no big deal! We don’t have to live at the all range of all-or-nothing today, we can live gray today. We can go gray.” (13:25)

“Because the end product really means nothing if you’re not enjoying the journey. Finding the enjoyment in the journey is going to create the product that you want in the end.” (17:37)