28. “I Can’t Let Go Of My Anger”

Oct 27

How to set your word of the year:

What do you want for yourself?
What commitment are you going to make to yourself?
Think about these questions and how you can embody them throughout 2021.

Holding onto anger doesn’t serve you. But what if I told you you didn’t have to resent these feelings? Let’s explore what happens when we use anger as a positive force in our life.

Listen to Episode 28 Here

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The Chief Complaint: “I Can’t Let Go of My Anger”

Anger is an emotion we all know, some of us better than others. Sitting in your anger too much can be detrimental to your life and others around you - but what if you didn’t have to be in conflict with it?

Why We Feel Angry -All The Time-

What does anger feel like to you? For me, it’s a red, hot emotion that sits in my chest and my stomach. It feels bubbling and like it could consume me at any time.

Anger is more than what you’re thinking. It’s more than your thoughts. Anger is also the actions you take… or don’t take… that can lead to this fiery emotion igniting inside you.

Let’s talk about what can happen when we reframe what anger means to us. When we think of anger as our friend, warning us when we get too close to our boundaries (or even overstep them). Let’s look at the positive side of anger.

Anger is Your Friend

When you feel angry, that’s your emotions telling you that you’re close to, at, or even over your boundaries. Whether you’ve set firm boundaries or you have more flexible ones, anger lets you know where they are. If you find yourself getting angry more and more often, it’s time to look at what and where your boundaries are set.

Looking at anger as a guiding force and an indication of your limits, you can start to build a healthy relationship with it. Honestly, while not actively encouraging anger, transforming your bond with it is super healthy.

When I started 2020, I set my word of the year as “boundaries.” It’s taken me this long, but I finally understand why I set this word. I encourage YOU to set words of the year, too.

Homework for Women Physicians

How willing are you to get uncomfortable? What is your word for 2021? Let me know in the comments below!

In This Episode

What anger feels like in your body [2:10]
Why you should treat anger like your friend [5:45]
How feelings of anger relate to your boundaries [13:25]
How to reframe anger to be a positive ally in your life [15:25]
What happens when you set an intentional word for the year [16:30]

Quotes

““Anger has a lot of thought associated with it but it also has a lot of actions associated with it, too.” [5:03]

“Anger is kind of a nice little buddy to have hanging around. Anger is actually a really positive thing in my life, it’s just that we aren’t ever taught that it’s okay to be angry and to have that anger guide us in the types of boundaries that we want to set.” [6:49]

“‘Your life and your business is not a democracy.’ For whatever reason, that thought made it all make sense. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had a thought that was so powerful and so clear as that. It allowed me to take ownership and to not be afraid of my anger.” [14:46]