184. Setting Boundaries Starting with Self

Boundaries start with yourself. When we’re able to set and maintain self-boundaries, we are more capable of setting them with other people and in other areas of our lives. In this episode, I’m talking about how to set self-boundaries and what this looks like. I’m also diving into how to honor other people’s boundaries, setting boundaries without overthinking, and what happens when you embrace your anger.

How to Use Your Boundaries to Set Goals

  1. Set the goal

  2. Break the goal down as far as you can

  3. Set a boundary on how you’ll stay true to that goal so it will serve the bigger goal

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Setting Self-Boundaries

Setting boundaries with yourself is one of the most important things you can learn to do. When we set self-boundaries, we are better able to accomplish our goals – but not only that, we’re better able to set boundaries in other aspects of our lives.

I encourage you to set boundaries in every aspect of your life, where you wear a hat. By setting a boundary in each area, you will absolutely feel more in control and more accomplished. 

This is especially important when it comes to goals, and by breaking your bigger goals down into smaller ones, you are more likely to maintain the boundary you set for yourself and, therefore, feel more empowered.

Setting Boundaries with Others

I also want you to get comfortable with understanding your anger. Usually, we feel angry when a boundary has been broken. Your anger can turn into a great tool to help you set and maintain your boundaries – with yourself and with others.

Setting boundaries with other people doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable and scary. It’s about setting yourself as best as you can to have these conversations. Prepare what you’re going to say, and you can even practice a few possible scenarios. Your friends will support you when you set a boundary.

Finally, I talk about the relationship between your boundaries and your higher self. When you’re more connected to your intuition and higher self, you’re better able to feel what boundaries you need.

What boundaries have you set recently? How has your life changed for the better by setting them? Let me know in the comments below!

 In This Episode 

  • What a self-boundary is [2:45]

  • How setting smaller goals lets you set better boundaries with yourself [5:45]

  • How boundaries empower you [11:00]

  • The importance of understanding thought spirals [11:30]

  • Why anger can help you protect your boundaries [18:00]

  • How to set boundaries with other people [21:00]

  • The connection to your boundaries and your higher self [27:00]

Quotes

“When you are able to set boundaries with yourself, it absolutely allows you to then feel more comfortable to set boundaries with others.” [1:20]

“The self-boundary piece is essentially … creating the really small goals that, if you do them, you’re automatically telling yourself that you are showing up.” [8:27]

“When you set a boundary, it’s conveying your wishes and desires and asking the other person to hold space for it.” [20:05]

“I would love for you to realize that discomfort is okay. And also, why not set yourself up for success and create a more comfortable environment because it’s absolutely available to you.” [22:30]

“Setting boundaries doesn’t have to be uncomfortable. You just have to prepare yourself and set yourself up for a bit more success.” [25:06]

“Get out of your head. Get into your body. It’s what you know to be true in your body. Can you use your mind to confirm it?” [27:19]

Resources Mentioned

Related Episodes

Episode 125: Brave Boundaries with Dr. Sasha Shillcutt

Episode 143: The Power of Asking for Help

Episode 180: Energetic Health

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185. Emotionally Regulated Parenting

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183. Gratitude to My Younger Self